Where's my tip?

(稍微修改以前的一篇舊文)

     A group of Mafia gangsters dined at a fine restaurant. After they finished their dinner, on their way out, two of them were approached by their waiter. “Didn’t you like my service?” the waiter politely asked. As it turned out, the gangster who paid the dinner didn’t leave enough tip, so the waiter was hoping he could get more. To make the story short, they got into a fight and the mobster pulled out a gun and killed this unfortunate waiter.

     This is a scene from HBO’s hit series “The Sopranos.” A similar scenario happened to a good friend of mine, not the killing part of course. His 70-year-old uncle and some other relatives came for a visit from Taiwan, so he took them out to a Chinese buffet restaurant. His uncle was pleased with everything and insisted on paying. My friend didn’t want to ruin his fun, so he let him. His uncle gladly put the money on the table but he missed one thing — THE TIP. My friend didn’t want to pay the tip in front of him, worrying it might embarrass him, so he decided he’d put the money on the table after he helped his uncle exit the restaurant. While he was holding his 70-year-old uncle’s arms and walking towards the front door, their waitress came over and yelled at him, “Where's my tip? Is my service bad or something?”

     Last night, I told my gf a story of my other friend. He was at a Chinese restaurant. After he was done eating and paid the bill, his waiter confronted him because he didn't leave a tip. The manager was there too, so he said to both of them that he didn’t like the waiter's service. After hearing the story, my gf said “He can at least pay a reduced tip!”

     One thing about tipping that I didn’t know until later is that you should tip more if you are paying for a group of people. This is nice to know. As for how much and when one should tip, well, I guess I’ll write another blog for that.

另類Yard Sale

(稍微更修以前的一篇舊文)

      Yard sale (註一)許多人可能有聽過,那是把自家不想要的東西選個週末然後擺在門口或是車庫前空地上便宜賣。還有一種叫做estate sale的恐怕就較少人知道了。

      有次我們約了朋友去趟state sale,她呢,小六就過來美國了,但是卻沒聽過state sale。State sale是estate sale的"俗稱",省去唸開頭的e的麻煩,而estate本身又是real estate的簡稱,換句話說這是牽涉到整個房產的。有時家裏的人去世,然後子女又不住在一起,那麼空著一棟房子怎麼辦呢?第一步就是先把家裏的東西想辦 法清掉,這時可以請專人來幫忙賣。請這些人來幫忙的另一個好處是可以避免因為家屬過於悲傷,而無法處理或是清除這些遺留下來的東西。這些"專人"有的可能 只是些有經驗的兼差家庭主婦,她們會來幫忙分類,整理,標價,接著選個週末然後在報上登廣告。

      因為賣的都是舊東西,所以有的時候可以撈到很便宜的"好貨"。賣的內容包含傢俱,電器,餐具,首飾,衣服,書籍,工具,運動器材等等應有盡有,總之只要家 屬願意賣的都會擺出來。當然因為性質的關係,這是銀貨兩訖,貨物既出,概不退貨,所以在買的時候要小心檢查看清楚。那次帶朋友去,她挑了件卡西米亞毛衣, 標價3塊錢,拿到廚房簡單一張小桌子擺設的"櫃台"付帳時她突然發現一小塊污點,指給站櫃台的看之後當場扣掉一塊錢,以兩塊錢成交。

      有時候我們去是去"參觀房子",因為不同的房子有不同的擺設和設計,所以可以去參考看看別人是怎麼做的,只是我們去的地方大部分是"老房子",所以往往沒 什麼好看的,只有一次碰到個全新的豪華住宅,據說是主人剛買房子,但是因為工作關係要搬到別州,所以用state sale來出清一些家裏的東西。

      剛剛去wikipedia查了一下,發現,如果去世者的子女親屬間存有爭議時,那麼法庭可以下命令指派專人拍賣家裏的東西,結餘的錢再平分給家屬。有的則 是去世者的遺囑裡頭已經指明要如此做。Estate sale同時也是古董商蒐購古董的來源之一。

註一: 或是 garage sale, 另外也可以是rummage sale, or jumble sale

這主要是美國地區,其他英語系國家我就不清楚了

佃佃.店店

(以前的一篇舊文)

      那天和老美室友到附近的一家還不錯的台灣小餐館吃飯,在櫃檯前點餐時,室友找不到他要的,於是問我那種有花生的麵叫什麼。
      "佃佃"老中女店員在收銀台後面說著。
      我和室友正用著英文交談,也沒注意到女店員在說什麼,然後室友繼續描述那麵的樣子,接著:
      "店店"女店員又插嘴。我一時回不過神來,後來靈光一閃,啊,對啦,是
      擔-擔-麵。
      擔擔麵,在這家店的英文菜單上是寫著"dan dan noodle",這道菜很受老美歡迎,而老美們在點這道菜時往往把 dan 裡的 a 唸成 apple 裡的 a , 所以聽起來很像"店店",久而久之,來美前顯然沒有聽過擔擔麵的老中女店員就跟著老美唸成"店店"。
      老闆,店店麵來一碗!

The guru

      Yup, I'm the guru around the house, the computer guru, but there're still times I can't spot the problem right away.
      "Dame it to hell!" A curse came from my landlord's room, which signaled something troublesome he was having, so I walked to his room.
      "What happened?" I said.
      "The printer won't print." He said angrily.
      "Let me take a look."
      I used this printer before and knew the printer driver was installed on his laptop, so my first thought was it shouldn't be software related. His room wasn't properly lit and he didn't have a desk lamp at the time, so I couldn't see very well when I peeked at the back of his printer to make sure the printer's USB cable was secured properly. Even so, I could still see the cable was "attached", so I moved to his laptop and checked some settings. Everything checked out fine. The last thing I want to think was the printer was broken.
      Just when I was making my diagnosis, he mentioned he didn't hear the usual chime when he plugged in the USB cable to his laptop. A thought came to me. I turned his printer around and saw this:

GPS woes

      It's ironic. I've heard of these stories many times and now I'm in one of them. A typical story goes like this: someone either owns or tries to get a GPS device in the hope that s/he won't get lost when s/he visits a new place. S/he follows the instructions directed the device and still ends up getting lost.
      My girlfriend and I planned a trip to Florida. She flew there a week earlier to visit her relatives in southern Florida, and then drove up to Orlando airport to pick me up. Our first stop was Downtown Disney.
      You know how it goes when it's your first time visiting a place and you realize your partner has been to this place several times, so you tend to think s/he KNOWS this place, and it makes sense for her/him to take the helm and call the shots. Well, I was the one visiting Orlando the first time and my girlfriend several. She took the driver seat.
      When I hopped in my girlfriend's rental car, I noticed a GPS device attached to the front panel. She told me in a cheerful voice that she already plotted the course to Downtown Disney. I came out of the airport's arrival gate at roughly 7:40pm so naturally our next step was to find a restaurant, and according to her, we could find a nice one in this Downtown Disney, so what more could I say other than give her a kiss?
      Pretty soon we missed our first turn. It seemed like the device was a bit slow when we were nearing a fork ...(Humm... I'm trying to think what exactly happened...) Anyway, my girlfriend picked the exit and immediately the device sounded a female announcement "Recalculating route." We tried to get back to the highlighted route shown on the GPS screen, missed yet another one or two turns, and we eventually returned to the correct path. Afterwards the ride was pretty smooth. This smooth ride lasted about ... I don't know how long because the sky was getting dark and I was, well, getting hungry. At one point my girlfriend mentioned the scenery looked foreign to her. (I told her "It's getting dark. Besides, you're going the opposite direction. That's why it looked different to you.") Then she wanted me to tell her what city we were in. I checked the road sign when we passed one and relayed what I saw to her. She said it didn't sound right but she wasn't very sure either.
      As the time went by, she got more agitated and I wasn't in a good mood either; the GPS still wanted us to go further west. WAY west. This went on for another I-don't-know-how-long, and then she gasped--"We're running out of gas!" (I said to her, "Didn't I tell you to gas up when we passed one like ... what, yesterday?" She of course fired back. Yeah, we do this a lot.)
      Now in retrospect, I understand why she didn't gas up. The trip from the airport to (Downtown) Disney shouldn't take long--30 minutes top. She figured, with the remaining gas she had, it should be more than enough to drive back. We didn't know why it took that long. Another thing is that after I got out of the plane, I got tired and a bit disoriented. My girlfriend, well, she actually arrived in Orlando that afternoon after a 4-hour drive from southern Florida, so she wasn't in a better shape either. We were both tired and couldn't think clearly, so I know I shouldn't blame her.
      Back to what I was saying. I looked at the time and realized we'd been driving almost two hours, so I told her we should get off at the next exit and gas up, and then we could try to set up a new route with the GPS and start from there. She agreed. When we reached a toll booth, she asked the toll collector about the direction to Disney. The old lady, the toll collector, said it was in the opposite direction and we were way off.
      My girlfriend suspected there was something wrong with the GPS, and now she had the proof. Anyway, gassing up took precedence, so we found a gas station nearby, put gas in the car, and then tried to solve the GPS puzzle after we parked the car at a corner of the station. I canceled our current itinerary, selected the function of locating nearest city and punched in “Disney.” Two names popped up and I chose “Disney, OK,” which was the same one my girlfriend previously picked and it still yielded the same route we were taking. I then checked the estimated mileage on the screen and saw more than 18,000 miles remaining. Even though this was my first time in this part of Florida, I knew this number couldn't be right. I told my girlfriend about this and she agreed that was not possible, so she took over the device and tried it herself. Same result. She was frustrated, more so than me.
      Then she realized something. “It's Oklahoma!” (OK is short for Oklahoma.) She went on and said, “When I was at the airport waiting for you, I didn't have much time to punch it in, so when I saw 'Disney, OK', I thought it meant 'Disney, Okay' and picked it.”
      OH... MY... GOD.... We'd been heading to Oklahoma all this time! Well, I didn't have the nerve to criticize her because I got fooled too. We didn't know why “Disney, Florida” didn't show up. It made no sense to argue with the machine anyway, so I said we could go to Downtown Disney some other time and let's get back to the hotel directly.
      What happened next was quite straightforward. We typed in the full address of the hotel my girlfriend had already booked and checked in, so it left no room for ANY mistakes. The estimated mileage shown on the screen was now a delightful two-digit number. We made it to the hotel safe and sound within an hour, had our late dinner, and we lived happily ever after. (Ha!)
      A side note. Two days later, after roaming around Disney's theme parks, I found out why “Disney, Florida” didn't show up on the GPS. Downtown Disney is not a municipal district; it's just a shopping and entertainment area owned by the Disney and they named it Downtown Disney, so the town or city of Disney (in Florida) doesn't exist (but it does in two other states!). The city we were supposed to find, and where Disney is in, is Kissimmee, Florida. I told my girlfriend this when we were in the car, and she was like "oh... yeah....ah...hmm...." (You should've known!)

肯德基之戀

(這是我以前寫得一篇舊文。我發現我居然不記得裡頭提到的一些細節...)

      說起來不怕看官您笑,我在1994年底來美國之前只吃過一次肯德基。那次是在剛當兵時和同梯們轉移訓練中心的一個空檔,我們選了在台北的一家肯德基吃午 餐。其實這樣講也不對,在這之前倒是有吃過,只是隔了太久忘了,畢竟在那個時代,外來的速食店仍算是高消費場所,我是很少去的。
      到美國一年多後,我突然想到,我好像還沒去過這裡的KFC,於是有次也是台灣來的同學來訪,我們就殺到附近的KFC去吃炸雞。到了櫃檯前我傻了眼,這,這 怎麼點啊?和麥當勞不同的,除了那宇宙通用的一號二號三號附著照片的點餐方式之外,我還要再選我要的"邊菜(side dishes)"。這本來也沒什麼,只是那負責接單的不知哪國來的新移民有著很重的口音,我實在聽不懂他在說什麼,就這樣在"你講台語也不通喔"的一番折 騰下總算點好了。同學的點餐過程也不是很順利。雖然費了番精神,但我也"意外"的點了個extra crispy的炸雞餐(註),哇,特別脆,也特別的多汁好吃,我居然吃上癮了。這之後,大約每隔一個月我都會去買個"特別脆"的炸雞餐來過過癮。
      好景不常,隨著身材發福,我也必須小心的控制飲食,多油的KFC也不能像開始時那樣常吃。沒記錯的話,距離我上次吃KFC的時間大概是半年前的事。

------------------------------------
      剛剛問女友說,我可以吃KFC嗎?她很冷漠的說"No."

(註)那時extra crispy可能算是新口味,所以店員會問顧客要不要,於是:
店員: "x*#o@#$dx*o@%*#*$%*" ---> 很重的口音問著要不要extra crispy
我: "uh.... Ok..." --> 聽不懂,只好給他 ok 矇混過去
結 局: 我拿到了extra crispy炸雞

Hot pot?

(稍微改寫我的一篇舊文)

      My brother got a new job and that called for a celebration. Our plan was to go to a restaurant in Chinatown, but after some driving we ended up at a Chinese restaurant near MIT in Cambridge. At least it was easier to park, considering all the snow banks in downtown Boston. My brother was very sure this restaurant had “hot pot.”
      “Do you have hot pot?” my brother asked the manager, in English, when we walked into the restaurant.
      “Yes, we do. We have sea food hot pot, beef . . .” said the manager while he was leading the way to our table. He also said in English.
      After we sat down, a waiter came and gave us the menu. We looked it up carefully and didn't see anything close to a “hot pot.” A short while later, our waiter came back. My brother asked him if they had “whuaw-guaw”(in Mandarin) because we couldn't find it on the menu.
      (The following conversation was in Mandarin)
      “Oh, no, we don't have 'whuaw-guaw',” the waiter said.
      “But, your manager just said you have it “
      “He couldn't speak Mandarin, perhaps that's why.”
      “Well, I asked him if you had 'hot pot',” my brother said “hot pot” in English.
      “Oh, we do have 'hot pot',” he said. We were confused, because earlier he just said they didn't have "whuaw-guaw."
      “It's 'bao',” the waiter said, “you know, served in a pot.”
      Finally, we understood what he meant. It was 煲, a soup stew. Apparently, they had the same designation for their stew. After all, it is HOT and it is served in a POT. Anyway, we decided we'd try their “hot pot” next time, so we ordered other dishes.
      In general, it's the best Chinese restaurant I've been to. Their dishes were excellent and not greasy. The most surprising part was the service. Compared to other "American" restaurants, the service was just fair, not very impressive, but it's rare when it comes to a Chinese restaurant. Well, maybe we were lucky that our waiter was good. Who knows? Maybe next waiter won't be as good as this one if we do return in the future. We shall find out....

----------------
Update:
      It's "the future!" Well, we went back, and as it tuned out, yeah, we were lucky.

Ten years later

(我的一篇舊文)

    It was really amazing. After all these years, this place was still bustling and extremely noisy like before. It took me quite a while to get used to its ear-piercing clamor; a roomful of people chatting, talking, laughing, cheering, toasting, ordering and greeting; all those sounds and voices overlapped together with background music's holiday-song singing.


    *    *    *    *    *    *    *

    For a moment I thought I heard it wrong when my friends sitting in the front of the car said we were heading for Border in Harvard Square. Just as I thought, one of them immediately asked "Wouldn't there be a long line at this hour?" The other one, the driver, said "I don't think so. It's very cold tonight, so less people would want to wait out in the cold." As it turned out, he was right--there were literally no people waiting outside of the restaurant when we got there.

    Border Cafe, a Mexican restaurant near Harvard. Ten years, give or take a couple, it took me to return to this place. What's so special about it? Other than it's very noisy, and hip, well, to me anyway, it's also the first non-Chinese restaurant I visited after I came to the states. A good friend of mine took me to this restaurant just a few days after I arrived Boston, and I still remember the novelty of visiting this exotic food place and my loss of appetite from my jet lag. The main dish I ordered, or she ordered for me rather, was enchilada. I remember she said she didn't quite know what to order when she first went there, and her friend introduced this dish to her, so she stuck to it from then on. Well, it wasn't a bad choice, at least I swallowed it whole. Ah, my first Mexican dish. (Or American Mexican food. Or both?)

    The second time I went back there, I thought I could order it on my own, but boy was I wrong. After giving the name of my entrée, which I thought was all it took, the waiter asked me if I wanted "something something". You have to realize the place was very noisy, so the only words coming out of his mouth I could identify were "black beans", which I wasn't even sure I heard it right because I'd never heard of it before. Again, my friend saved my butt and finished the rest of my ordering for me.

    Years went by and during which I visited quite a few places, including some Mexican restaurants in Houston. So, it shouldn't be a problem for me to order food at Border Cafe anymore, and I really hoped I could go back there to avenge my shame, but I simply didn't have the chance. The biggest obstacle was the long line; almost every time my friends and I passed by the restaurant, there was a long line! Yes, it was that popular. So you can imagine how surprised I was when I heard my friends suggesting going there last Saturday night. To commemorate this moment, I snapped a picture (while we were waiting)(Oh, indoors. Yes, no long line outside, but a short one inside):

What to expect:
  • Freshly fried tortilla chips with a salsa dip. The server will bring this to your table shortly after you all sit down. It's free, and you can ask for more. (Our waitress brought us a new batch even before we finished the first! That's neat.)(God, I really miss those chips. They taste so great....)
  • Drinks. It's universal, so I won't say more. It's OK just to order iced water.
  • Entrée / Main dish. Need I say more?
  • Side orders. Usually it's black beans, rice, or both. If in doubt, read the menu; all the choices and selections are listed on the menu. BTW, guacamole is one dollar extra.
  • Tips. "20 percent is the new 15." Anyway, don't be stingy if you like the service.

For learners 的字典

專為英語非母語的人設計的學習字典,比如:(以下都是 for learners 的字典)

Longman出的 : http://www.ldoceonline.com (紙本的還有其他的版本)

The Britannica(原Merriam-Websert's 出的): https://www.britannica.com/dictionary

Oxford英美版: http://www.oxfordlearnersdictionaries.com/ (選單可選 English(英)或是 American English(美) )

一次搜尋多家的OneLook https://www.onelook.com/

Harrap's Essential English Dictionary 似乎只有紙本字典


可能還有其他出版社出的,這幾個是我知道的links


語料庫
http://www.americancorpus.org/
他們語料有分門別類分成spoken, fiction, popular magazines, newspapers, 和 academic texts.

幾個增進自己校正效率的點子

      文章寫完後還要再自行校正(尤其是想要作文考試得高分的人),依照時間的多寡可以從一次、多次到事後回頭再次訂正。以下按照英文能力的深淺與剩餘時間的多寡提供幾個增進自己找出文章錯誤能力的點子:

1. 拼字
      在能力範圍內檢查拼字有沒有錯誤。用電腦打字的人也可以順便看看句子開頭有沒有多打一個大寫,比如 THis, THe... 等等,以及其它的容易犯的錯誤打字。許多的文書軟體(*1)有拼字檢查的功能。雖然長期依賴拼字檢查會有減弱拼字能力的副作用,但是對想改進拼字能力的學生來說,還是可以先把拼字檢查功能關掉,等自己多次檢查認為無誤之後再把拼字檢查功能打開,這時往往還可以再找出之前疏忽的錯誤拼字,而且也不用等別人幫你檢查。對於要交報告的人來說,使用拼字檢查也是很好的避免被扣分的方法。
      所以盡量不要像是應付考試寫作文那樣寫好就丟出來等人挑錯字,畢竟免費幫忙修改文章的人不是拼字檢查軟體,看到一兩個錯字幫忙挑錯還沒甚麼,如果錯字很多還是很惱人的。

2. 動詞
      這部份對一般的人來說應該能夠應付,所以檢查看看動詞的時態有沒有正確,時態有沒有前後一致,單複數有沒有正確等等。

3. 代名詞
      中文也有代名詞的觀念,所以這對一般人來說應該也能夠應付。檢查看看單複數型態有沒有用錯,有沒有多加不該有的一撇,有沒有"代錯"人/事/物等等。

4. 介係詞與其它
      這部份是一般人較弱的地方,所以在能力範圍內自行檢查有沒有漏掉的不同詞性的辭彙。

5. 找別人幫你看
      最低限度,別人可以幫你挑錯字。

6. 參考自己以前的作業
      一般人往往會重複犯同樣的錯誤,所以如果是學生的話,可以看看以前的作文作業老師是如何改的。如果在網路上有人幫你改錯,那麼依照情況把你自己貼的文章印下來,然後自己按照別人幫你修改的內容在自己的文章上打記號,比如用紅筆簡單的畫個圈圈等等,以能夠方便自己日後辨識為要旨。

7. 隔段時間再讀一次
      有時同樣的文章一直看一直看,看到腦子麻痹了會無法挑出文章裡的錯誤,這時最好出去走走,看個電影,買個泡沫紅茶,跑跑步等等,然後再回頭看,這時後你的腦子就能夠以全新的角度挑文章裡頭的錯誤。

8. 倒著看--由最後一個字往前讀
      這是在有剩餘時間然後本身有相當英文程度懂得"讀"英文時可以用的方法。對於英文有相當程度的人來說,有時在讀自己寫的文章會"跳"著看 -- 一些常用的片語辭彙會下意識的跳過去,於是就忽略了錯字。如果倒著看,這時就無法套用習慣性"跳躍"讀法然後就會強迫自己一個字一個字的看。

9. 大聲念
      有相當程度的人可以用這方法。文字是作者透露自己心聲的媒介,所以當一個人在讀一本書或是文章時其實是在"聽"作者所要"說的話",所以有時大聲念出來可 以提供自己另一個辨識自己文章有無錯誤的好方法。對於無法以這方法察知自己文章有無錯誤的人來說只能說聲抱歉了。

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(註) 這篇的靈感來自"English Grammar for Dummies"這本書後頭的Tips for Improving your Proofreading。因為這書是針對美國人寫的,所以除了保留大項目的名稱意思(點子)之外,其他的像是排列的順序以及內容全部按照我們一般人的英 文學習程度改寫過。

(*1)最典型的是MS Office/Word,但是未必每個人都有,這時可以考慮安裝免費的文書編輯軟體--OpenOffice / LibreOffice,這軟體可以在 www.openoffice.org / www.libreoffice.org 上取得。
如果不想裝軟體,也可以用Google Documents(docs.google.com)